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Shibari with BDSMGeek

I started in kink and rope in 2011 before any schools existed in Toronto, and have been doing it on and off for all of those years.

I love rope, really do, I think it’s a super great way to really touch on so many different facets of our lives. It’s artistic, creative, problem solving, meditative, spiritual, physical, erotic, all in one.

It’s amazing and I love spreading knowledge and the appreciation of it. I keep some notes here, lexicon/terms and a list of resources here.

As of late I’ve been learning the Kazami Ranki style of rope suspension from the Toronto Kinbaku style, practicing and doing a lot more with lots of partners.

So I’ve put together this note to go over some of the common items that come up and I want to communicate about.

Where I Tie

Some places we can tie are at the Toronto Kinbaku Salon and at Birdhaus events.

I do private floor tying with select play partners at my apartment in Liberty Village and have on occasion done some tying outdoors in special spots in good weather.

Given good weather I’ve recently taken to tying outside in places like High Park, I’m open to suggestions on photoshoot locations!

First Timers / Newbies

Thank you so much for being interested in getting tied by me! You’re awesome!

I give allowances for people that want to get tied for the first time, and offer a basic “introduction” to suspension.

I ask that if you do want to get tied up for the first time by me that:

  1. You make sure I know that this is your first time.
  2. Go through the rest of this document.
  3. Understand I may not want to or have the energy/mental spoons to tie you at this time, I reserve the right to refuse to tie anyone.
  4. Communicate what type of rope style you’d be looking for (if its the introductory / Clinical or something else), understand I may not want to tie you again in the same style.
  5. Getting Tied by me once does not automatically make us play partners, any further play will be talked about.
  6. You are responsible to actively communicate during the tie, I will check in but if something is going on speak up.

All that said I am an open and chill person so just talk to me if you have thoughts/concerns, just respect me and my time please and will do so in turn.

What should you wear

While rope in my opinion is most fun when the model is naked, it is not required. Most clothes can be worn for rope bondage, however loose clothes tend to get in the way when tying so not having to deal with that is preferred.

My recommendation for an outfit for casual/practice rope would generally be what you would wear for yoga, close fitting sportswear is usually ideal, so for ladies:

For anything in between just wear something that makes you feel sexy and confident without being restrictive, bras with wires can sometimes get in the way but they can be worked around, same with dresses /shirts.

Additional Resources for Rope Bondage bottoms

If you’re interested in educating yourself more I recommend reading the following:

There are also Rope Bottoming Classes at Birdhaus on occasion, checkout their Instagram for the most up to date listings, you can also subscribe to their EventBrite

Photos / Videos and posting to socials

I enjoy seeing people react to my work and creating artistic visions so photos and videos are much appreciated by myself. I also enjoy the freedom to have my face out there without worry.

I will usually post to both my Instagram and Fetlife accounts with attribution as negotiated with my partner.

Please let me know if you are okay with media or not, with whatever limitations, including censoring of face/tattoos.

What to Expect?

  1. Negotiation, reading this document is part of that but also just having an open and honest conversation before we play and active communication during.
  2. Starting, usually I have some rituals to start tying, putting out my rope, getting my headband on, tools strapped to me, a hug.
  3. Base rope: usually I will need to put on a harness or two on you, depending on the scene this may be done as part of the scene or just another preparation.
  4. Going up, once a harness is in place I’ll bring you up and check in on how things feel, we may need to bring you down to make any adjustments to make it more comfortable.
  5. Suspension, in the air I might play with your limbs, move them around, add rope, do whatever I feel is nice to add to the scene.
  6. Coming down, when taking you down I’ll endeavor to do some in a smooth and efficient way that avoids being jarring.
  7. Getting out of rope, this can be a lengthy process that can take the same or more then getting into the rope. I usually start after care as part of this process.
  8. Clean Up, if at a public spot, I will need to put away my rope, usually just dumping it into my bag
  9. Aftercare, I tend to like to make sure there are lots of cuddles and reassurance, maybe a debriefing, but can be skipped depending on our negotiation. See the Aftercare section for details.

Rope Style / Desired Feeling and Energy

Everyone does rope for their own reasons, and need different things from it. I like it when my rope has sensual elements but others might not, it’s definitely something to talk about before a scene.

I’m happy to use the Rope Radar as a way to negotiate the type of energy we want to have during a scene.

Here are some of the styles that I play with and what they involve:

Sensual

Primarily I am sensual kinkster, I get energy from sensual and sexual acts, which is my preferred way to approach rope.

Some of the things I like to do when tying pretty much at time:

Sensual ties usually include less in any talking as I want to focus on the experience.

Sexual

In more intimate settings I tend to dive deeper into the more sexual actions with rope such as:

I get tested regularly at the Safer Six Clinic when sexually active and have been negative in my latest tests.

If we participate in sexual activity I expect the same courtesy and upfront disclosure of any sexual health situations.

Clinical / Artistic / Educational

I am open to tying without the above elements in the right circumstances. Practice sessions in particular tend to be very clinical as I am learning the material.

Usually I’ll try and keep up some dialog to help keep things comfortable.

This style will be basically me doing what I need to get you in the rope and then down from it.

Flavors

The above three style can also come in a combination of flavors:

Lets talk that out and see our energies go during the tie. Nothing aside from Hard Limits is static.

Safety / Responsibilities

Going through this if I am tying with you for the first time is a must.

I will want to have a discussion that goes through these points in this note, and discuss any discrepancies / alterations.

I want to know:

Feel free to submit this form with those details: BDSMGeek New Rope Partner Form

Or just make notes and let me know in our talks.

Aftercare

I believe aftercare is important and try to incorporate it into most play sessions.

I will see to my bottom’s needs before my own.

I personally benefit from:

This all helps me avoid top drop and feeling shitty the days after.

Disclaimer / Risks

I take what precautions I can, tie in the presence of educated people, educate myself and practice, carry safety equipment like safety shears and a marlin spike, but at the end of the day an emergency/accident can happen.

This is a low possibility, however still a possibility with rope, if you are not comfortable with the small risks of falling I am happy to do floor work and safer partial suspensions.

Resources on Safety:

Nerve Damage

Nerve Damage is possible at any time with any type of rope suspended or not.

Keeping aware of your body and communicating sharp pains, and any loss of sensation to mitigate the problems that could arise from it.

To check most arm nerves you can do a hand check:

Things to do if you feel anything off:

The recovery process from nerve compression can be a few minutes to few months depending on severity.

The following day:

Also, avoid bandages or any kind of compression on the limb including ropes on the limb before full recovery.

Here are some resources if you want to learn more about nerves in bondage: